Baby People v. Parents

So the other day I was watching Law & Order with my mom and I got the greatest idea. I'm thinking about bringing a law suit against my parents. Here are my closing arguments; tell me what you think:

I am not sure when parents started torturing kids, but it's wrong and I don't like it. Besides, I think it's against the Geneva Convention. Here are the facts: pretty much every day, my mom insists on putting me into this seat and literally strapping me to it (see photo, marked Baby People's Exhibit A). Yeah, I know I'm not crying in the picture. They will do anything to prove their innocence, up to and including manipulating the evidence to make it appear that I only "sleep" in the car seat. In their testimony, they say that I'm just fine and that it's all for my own good, and I'm like "I object! That is totally hearsay." How can anyone expect kids not to put up a fuss? I mean, Holy Habeas Corpus. I can't move. She isn't holding me. I'm not eating. It's pure torture. How can she do this to me and complain when I get upset? Because naturally, after my mom puts me into this contraption, I express my frustration quite vocally. I usually do this the entire time she insists on inflicting this torture upon me. I mean nothing I say can be used against me anyway because I have never been properly Mirandized. Even after she gives in and takes me out of the seat, I like to make my point clear. So I keep crying. I hope that she will think twice the next time she wants to put me into that seat. But that never seems to work. She keeps doing it. (See photos below, marked Baby People's Exhibits B and C.) I vow that I will increasingly express my dislike of this practice to my parents. I ask the jury to find them guilty and outlaw this barbaric practice of torturing babies. 

The Baby People rest. 

(I mean like literally. I've been awake for about ten minutes now and I'm freakin' exhausted.)

Halloween

I had a great Halloween. My mom didn't let me have any candy, but she did get me a really cute costume. I was dressed as Winnie the Pooh, who was dressed as a flower. I don't get it, my Daddy explained it to me. But I love Pooh Bear and flowers, so it was perfect. We went to a silent movie on Halloween night. It was the Phantom of the Opera. It was the second movie I ever saw. The first movie was High School Musical 3 with Auntie Kelly and Auntie Caroline. I will tell you this, Zac Efron is way cuter than Lon Chaney. The Phantom of the Opera was surprisingly scary. My mom jumped a few times. Here are some pictures of my costume. Thanks for reading!

You asked for it!

For those of you begging us to start a blog (Gabe and Brooke), you asked for it. :) Since our lives revolve around Annie, we thought it only fitting that she be the star of the blog as well. She can be a little frank sometimes, but her diary should be very interesting.  But don't worry, Jed and I will be inserting our insightful comments as well. We are so excited to share our lives with you, try and keep up. We love you all!

Hello World!

Hi. My name is Annie. I was born two months ago and it hurt like Jiminy Crispies. It was pretty much the most traumatic experience of my life, well up until that point at least. I had totally adjusted to the womb. I mean, there wasn't much to see. There was absolutely nothing to do. But, come on, it was warm and floaty and nothing bad really happened ever. And then wham! My head was being squeezed and it hurt, and I think my heart rate might have even dropped a couple times. Never again! I mean, I guess it won't ever happen again, but if it could happen again, I would totally refuse. Anyhow, since then it's been pretty much uphill. I really like my parents. They're funny. They keep talking to me in this weird voice like I am an idiot or something. Dad sings to me and that makes me happy. Sometimes, mom doesn't feed me immediately when I want her to, and sometimes I accidently poke myself in the eye, but basically life is good. I'll be posting about my experiences here.